What. To. Blog. About...

Should I tell you about my computer chair that keeps losing a foot and flinging me sideways when I forget and try to roll it closer to the desk...



...or my fridge that looks like a yogurt ad because Carnival is about 30 days away. (My freezer on the other hand, looks like I flew to Jamaica specifically for their beef patties and imported packs of it in bulk. I'm trying not to think about them too much).



Should I blog about my 2 dogs that bark all night and sleep all day, resulting in bags that could hold a week's groceries under my eyes?





(They're horrendously stupid, but I love 'em.)

Mosquitoes have made a comeback in my house. I went through an almost mosquito free period (approx. 2 weeks) where I forgot what it was to hear an incessant buzzing and feel small winged bodies brush up annoyingly against me. I have a racquet zapper, but all that does is serve (serve - get it? racquet:) to make me look like I'm insane - swing, swing, swing - nothing...

Ugh - time for me to sign off and go kill me some insects...

Carnival is WHAT?!?

2 months away?!?

Crap. What happened to 'enough time to get in shape'?

Crap.

It astounds me how consistently I find myself in this situation. With over 10lbs. to lose in record time, in order to get on the road in a skimpy getup and not die of both embarrassment and a heart attack. Last year I managed it in 2 WEEKS - Red Bull has nothing on pure fright to give you wings. Not only did I manage it - I got so fit that my eating binge afterward had no effect on me whatsoever. So much so that I tempted fate and aging and decided to eat like it was my last meal for 6 months. Then my metabolism remembered that I'm actually quite old and conked out.

Fabulous. Now I have less than 2 months to do it all again. And what am I doing instead of exercising? Writing this online. If only finger presses on the keyboard used up calories...